1997
Samuel
Spring is a fickle thing in Northern Italy.
One moment, everything is in bloom. Another, snow is falling from the sky. There is a saying that goes: “Marzo pazzerello, guarda il cielo e apri l’ombrello.” (March is a little crazy, look at the sky and open your umbrella). It normally rains during the Easter holidays, whether they fall earlier or later in the year. That March wasn’t any different. It started off lovely, but then, halfway through, it took a turn for the worse and rain lashed Castelnuovo for a solid week.
Then, at the end of the month, it flipped again. I could see flowers from the school window, blooming everywhere, the grass so green it almost looked unnatural. It was quite distracting, having a classroom that up in a building; it allowed for an inordinate time of looking out of windows, pretending you were listening to the Prof. but, really, spacing out and thinking of Alice.
It took me the guts of six months, but I had to admit, at that point, that I wanted to be more than friends with Alice. Things started feeling different after my very public break-up with Vittoria. She wasn’t talking to me anymore, and I couldn’t care less. She thought I had a crush on Alice, ever since she saw us at the Club Cometa and, after a fashion, I had to admit that she was probably right. I had not thoroughly realised it myself, but the world was a better place whenever Alice stepped in it, those few moments in the bus constantly being the highlight of my day.
I would be finished with secondary school in June, then finals and out into the world I’d go. She would remain in school for two more years, two very long years if you heard her.
Our little bubble would burst then, and even if we’d probably see one another in town, it wouldn’t be the same.
A decision started solidifying in my gut from the moment Vittoria broke up with me.
I wanted to make the last months count, and, maybe, if I didn’t scare her, move things forward with Alice. I was worried I’d make her run away, but then, time was running out and I had to do something about this thing that was plaguing me.
Hopefully, she wouldn’t retreat into her castle made of music and books, instead opening those gates and letting me step fully into her world.
We broached the subject of the Big After a couple of times. Alice didn’t know what she wanted to do, she saw herself in Uni but studying what, she had no clue: “I’ll end up picking something easy enough, same as everyone else who has no clue”. I was also unsure about my future, for a variety of reasons. First off, I knew I couldn’t afford to go to college. I would have loved to study illustration, to learn how to draw properly, but even at my most optimistic, I knew what a dream looked like, and that was it.
That particular day, the sky was an astonishing blue, as it sometimes happens in spring. I could see the Alps from my viewpoint, their snowy peaks clear in the distance. It was quite warm, the sun invading the room through its windows.
While I was waiting, drenched in sunlight, I had a sudden moment of inspiration.
As soon as school was over, I walked as fast as my legs could carry me to the Leopardi’s doors. I was just on time for classes to be over. I leaned on one of the pillars at the bottom of the hill upon which the Liceo was perched.
A steady stream of students started to pour downhill, following the ring of a bell.
After a couple of minutes, I spotted Alice and Clara, chatting and having a laugh. Suddenly, Clara noticed me and turned to say something to Alice.
Alice’s face was first puzzled, then surprised, then puzzled again, like she could not fathom why I was there, like I was out of place.
I watched them approach, a smile on my face. I did love to surprise Alice Giannelli.
I zeroed in on her and gave her my most dazzling smile, to let her know that I was here for her. I waved a little, too, and that made her blush. A couple of girls walking past gave me an appraising look, which I noticed and promptly ignored, because I wasn’t there for them.
Alice waved a little too, at that point, timidly.
Clara giggled at her side.
They reached me and I said: “Good morning, ladies. Morning, Clara.”
“Good morning, Marchetti. What brings an Avogadro’s boy here on this fine day?” Asked Clara, on Alice’s behalf. Alice seemed to be too flummoxed to be able to utter a full sentence.
“I thought I’d come pick Ali up, since I finish a little earlier than you, it’s a nice day, and I felt like a walk. Is that a good enough explanation?”
“Fine by me, you may escort her to the bus. Ciao!” and without a backward glance she left us.
I started to really like Clara.
We walked downhill towards the bus station.
I stole a glance at my friend. Alice was wearing a coat that would have been perfect at seven in the morning, but was far too hot for how the day turned out.
She glanced towards me and started to awkwardly shuffling out of it, backpack hanging off one arm.
“Here, let me help.”
I held the backpack while she finished sliding out of the coat, and helped her putting it back on.
“Sami eh… Did anything happen? Are you ok?”
Alice could be blunt as a sledgehammer, sometimes, and especially when she was nervous.
“What?” I looked at her with a very angelical face, like she had just asked why was the sky blue.
“You have never picked me up at school.”
“Oh, that.” I could not keep the mischief altogether out of my voice. “I just wanted to see you.”
I had to start somewhere to make her understand. And I could be blunt too, if required.
Alice blushed a deep shade of crimson at that point, and looked a little like a fish out of water. Her mouth even opened and closed a couple of times, her lips forming a small “o”.
“Oh, really?”
She blinked looking up at me.
“Yes, really. We don’t have much time left, so I think we should make the most of it before the end of the year.”
“You make it sound like I’ll never see you again.”
I shrugged: “Well, I will be busy for the summer for final exams, and I don’t know what’s going to happen next. For sure I won’t be sitting next to you warming your hands come September.” I looked down at her: “Are you going to find someone else to warm your hands?”
At that point, I thought I might have been a little too direct, might start to see the signs of bolting Alice.
I was pleasantly surprised when she replied: “I don’t go give my hands to the first person who comes asking for them, you know?”
“I know you don’t. I am lucky you wanted to be my friend.”
Alice narrowed her eyes, tilting her head, trying to understand what had changed, why was I different, what was happening: “Why do you say that? I should say that, not you. I am just a random weirdo who’s into random weird shit.”
“Well, I’m into random weird shit as well. Do you know how hard it is to find someone who’s the same as you?”
“Not really. I already have all that I need, two or three good friends who really get me, you included, by the way, which is plenty. Also, you have a lot of friends, you are popular and…”
…Pretty. She cut herself off before she could say it, but I got it anyway.
I felt inordinately pleased by the fact that she thought me pretty. I was not blind, and I knew girls thought me ok, but the only one I cared to hear an opinion from had never really said anything of the sort. Until now, at least.
I didn’t want to make it into a big deal, so I breezily moved on: “I know a lot of people, which is not the same as having friends. And I am not that popular either, but I certainly smile a lot more than you do.” I nudged her a little with my elbow, making her smile appear.
“See, when that comes out, everything is better.”
It was her eyes’ turn now to get big and round as saucers: “You are being suspiciously nice to me.”
“Like I’m never nice to you! I made you a mixtape!” I pretended to look offended.
“Yes, yes, but… Do you want anything from me? Is everything ok at home?”
“I love the fact that you seem to believe I need to have a reason for being nice to you. Well, Giannelli, news flash. I don’t. I just like to see you smile and I know I’ll miss you when the year is over. I want to spend as much time as I can with you and guess what, I might even try and see you some afternoon. Is that a crime? I don’t think so. So shut your mouth and get on with it.”
Alice smiled in defeat and sighed: “Yessir, yes.”
I tried to follow up on my newly-found objective inviting Alice to an Easter Monday picnic.
Alice told me this was the first time someone invited her to an Easter Monday picnic: “To no one’s surprise,” she muttered. Apparently, Clara was never available because she was always going out for lunch with the family, while Marta was going on a picnic with her brothers in their village.
Alice’s mom, Anna, had not been best pleased by the invitation. She complained to Alice that she didn’t know anyone bar me and, very vaguely, Gigi, who was to be our driver. Gigi, a friend of mine since we were in playschool, was indeed coming to check the girls out, but we were not going to say this to Anna, were we.
Easter Monday’s outdoors escapades always have a very early start.
Alice was waiting for us in front of Bar Sport at nine in the morning, holding onto a cake container and a small backpack, which looked very heavy from where I was standing, somewhere I could look at her without being spotted.
Her unfocused, sleepy gaze snapped into attention when I came behind her and tapped her on the shoulder, saying: “Good morning, Giannelli.”
Alice all but dropped the cake.
Chuckling and grabbing the cake, I said: “Jeepers Ali, who were you expecting? A murderer?”
Alice huffed and gave me a bleary-eyed, but gentle, slap on the arm: “Not funny.”
“Sometimes I forget how much of a scaredy cat you are. And how bad at mornings.”
“I am terrible at mornings,” she chuckled, too, leaning on me. I could smell her shampoo, and my arms itched to hug her.
The forecast was as good as it could get considering that, at Easter, all bets are usually off. Some showers were expected but, overall, the day was going to be sunny.
While I was approaching Alice to scare her with my seemingly ninja abilities, Gigi had also arrived, and parked his brand-new Golf in front of the two of us. He opened the door, sunglasses pushed on his curly black hair, and exclaimed: “And who is this gorgeous girl?” looking at Alice with an interest I didn’t like. He was the definition of “oh you know, he’s funny”, and he knew it, too, which made him a little creepy towards girls.
Despite knowing that it was possibly unwise, I had to put an arm around Alice’s shoulders: “This is Alice, I invited her today, I hope it’s not a problem? She’s Daniela’s niece.” It felt a little too territorial, but I didn’t care. Alice didn’t seem to despise it either; she gave me a funny look, that I interpreted as “thank you for saying that I’m Daniela’s niece, and not Anna’s daughter.” I didn’t know Anna but even I could see fairly easily that Alice’s personality was much more aligned with her auntie, and that she liked it that way. Plus, everyone knew Daniela already, so it was much easier to place Alice as her niece than it was to explain her genealogy for ten minutes.
Gigi seemed pleased enough, anyway: “Oh, sure, I heard Il Cavallino is doing great! I will be your driver and your picnic companion today; it’s a pleasure to meet you. Pity you are taken,” and with that and a pat on the roof of the car, he slid back into the pilot’s seat. “Come on in guys, we have to go pick up Gisella.”
Alice turned to look at me. Trying to look innocent, I mouthed: “You are welcome,” and opened the door for her to take a seat at the back.
Next, we went to pick up Gisella; she was the same age as Alice but going to a different secondary school. I knew her, vaguely. She had been invited by Gigi, who clearly thought her to be his next target. I remember her as a quiet girl, even quieter than Alice, at least in school. Maybe, like Alice, she just needed the right people around to get going.
We finally hit the road, Alice and Gisella at the back and us two at the front. It was a quiet trip, first because it was still early and, most importantly, because Gigi really liked house music at quite a high volume. When he put on the music, I turned around to show Alice exactly how amused I was. She rolled her eyes and her shoulders went up, as if to say: “If we don’t put up with it, we don’t have a ride.” Sometimes, the way I could understand her scared me a little.
Despite the noise, I enjoyed the journey to the barbecue spot. We went from the flat plains, full of fields that were starting to grow their crop, to the low hills behind San Giuliano, where vines were starting now to turn green and trees formed small forests interspersing the vineyards.
There were some clouds up in the sky, but for now, it looked like we were going to enjoy a beautiful, sunny day. After an hour or so, Gigi left a small country lane to go onto a pebbly side road which, in turn, ended in a small clearing.
From there, we went on foot through a path that led us to the edge of a stream. Alice stopped, impressed by how pretty this place was; and it was just a small way away from our home. The stream, snaking through two hills, round and full of trees, opened up a little down its route into a tiny lake. The lake’s water was an astonishing green, so clear you could see the pebbles on its bottom. Flat, light grey stones made up a small beach which was still blessedly empty.
Alice was standing on the beach, backpack in hand, looking around, amazed. I went over and I felt electricity coursing from her arm to mine, where they were barely touching: “It’s beautiful, isn’t it? I thought you’d like it. I used to come here often with my mom when we were little.”
“It’s one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen,” answered Alice. Then she turned to me and asked: “Is anyone else coming?”
“No one… When I thought of this place, everyone said it was too out of the way and so they decided to go to the river closer to San Giuliano. I asked Gigi if he minded coming here and he said no. I assumed, and hoped, you wouldn’t mind either. Gisella was just happy to get out of her house, according to Gigi.”
It had been a slight gamble. I was hoping Alice would love the idea of a small gathering in which she could feel comfortable, instead of a big group of people she would have to make small talk with.
It seemed like my gamble paid off when she looked at me and her face broke into a grin: “I think I am going to love this day.”
We had brought so much food that we could have fed two armies, had it been necessary. We laid a picnic blanket on the river’s bank, in the shade, and we piled all the goods there. Both Gigi and myself had brought iced tea and juices.
Then, we went near the water and we all sat down, chatting and enjoying the weather. Because it was so enclosed, the place was really warm. Unlike the water, which was icy cold. Alice removed her socks and trainers and bravely went in, water lapping at her ankles.
“Motherfucker!” she shouted, making us all laugh.
“Language, Giannelli!”
She turned around and saw me, gingerly making my way into the water to come to stand next to her.
It was so cold I could already feel my feet go numb.
“It’s so inviting… And yet…”
“The motherfucker is freezing all right,” I smiled: “Are you really ok that it’s only the four of us?”
“I much prefer it; I am already used to you so you don’t bother me anymore…”
“…Gee, thanks…”
“… You are welcome. And the other two seem nice. I don’t need a big group to be happy, Sami.” Alice smiled up at me.
“There it is.”
“What is?”
“The smile. I was hoping to see it, today.”
Alice suddenly showed an interest in the tiny fishes that were swimming placidly around her ankles.
“I think I preferred it when you were less nice,” she mumbled.
“You mean like this?”
I stepped towards her and pushed her, making her lose her footing before grabbing her just before she’d fall into the river. I held her there, my arm holding her up, and her wrists in my hand. I could feel her against me and that was doing all sorts of things to my heart. Her ponytail touched the water gently when I lowered her a fraction.
Alice didn’t move for a moment. I thought she was going to scream at me, or be angry at me, but then her face turned, and she giggled.
That only made me bolder. Quickly, before I could think it through, I flipped her in my arms so that she would face me. It looked like I was performing some sort of dance move, but all I wanted, really, was to get closer.
“Lunch!” Shouted Gigi from the shore.
I wasn’t best pleased by the interruption.
I shouted back: “Coming!” and then slowly brought Alice up until I was holding her against me. I couldn’t help my mouth brushing against her ear, and murmuring: “To be continued.” Then I turned, and walked back to the beach, trying my best to look cool.
I don’t know about Alice, whom I left in the water, but my knees were shaking from the excitement of being so close, of being able to hold her.
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